that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
