yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i will never coherently bang her
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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