so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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