Soap is not a condiment
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
