You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
