naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
