I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize