She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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