she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
