I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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