I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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