Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
In America we eat man semen.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
