Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
