I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
