oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
