He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
