if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
