And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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