Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
