Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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