i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
