im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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