i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
