I love black thongs
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
