He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
