Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
