I got chris browned last night
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
