What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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