escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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