I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
