Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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