i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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