i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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