Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
