try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
