Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
