one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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