Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
