can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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