I want to stick my p in your. b.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
