Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
