i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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