i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
