Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
