I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
