there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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