What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
