You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
