i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
