So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
