I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
