I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I need a beard to bite.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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