So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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