you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I need a beard to bite.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
