Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
