Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
