You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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