i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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