69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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