maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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