Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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