Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
