I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
