I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize