So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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