New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
