so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We smell like vodka and hangover
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