I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
