Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
