when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
