He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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