i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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