I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
