Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
