Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The adults are the big ones right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize