that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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