No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
