Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
