After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
