I cannot find my penis.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
