I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
