mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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