The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
